Yesterday, I scouted out window treatments, which first led me to a fabric store. I hate to be judgmental, but fabric stores always make me feel like I've stepped back in time about twenty years. They also bring back hushed memories of my mother whispering things in my ear about "women who can sit around and make homemade Halloween costumes" as we picked out fabric for my Grandma to whip up my Princess costume (purple felt, silver trim - it was awesome). It's not that I feel better than the people (okay, let's be honest - women) in the fabric stores. Rather, I feel horribly inadequate and un-feminine. When the nice lady walks up to me to ask if I need help, my gut response is to say, "WHAT? DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN'T OPERATE A SEWING MACHINE AND I HAVE NO BUSINESS HERE?" but instead, I go with my "Von Maur" response, which is "Oh thanks, but I'm just browsing."
I may have also felt conspicuous yesterday because I could not, for the life of me, picture my kitchen in my head. So I was snapping photos of any fabric that I thought could make good long-length valences in my kitchen - to be made, of course, by my grandmother. In my head, I play this scene where I learn to use a sewing machine as she's "helping" me make my window treatments, but I have this feeling that what will really happen is that I'll end up watching, rattling on about something pointless, and poof! Grandma will have worked her magic yet again.
In the same shopping excursion, I also went to Target and T.J. Maxx. Typically my Target trips exceed an hour in length, but I'd been chatting on the phone when it suddenly died, and then a lady ran over me in her motorized scooter. Really, she just hit me with the basket. I found myself quickly apologizing out of sheer mortification, and as it dawned on me that she totally rammed into me, I decided it was time to exit on to T.J Maxx, which is basically my favorite place on earth. Where else can you get designer handbags on clearance and Soy Vay Veri Teriyaki? Though I really wanted to leave with an amazing Michael Kors orangey brown hobo (for $69...I cannot believe I left it), I found a pair of twin extra long sheets that I am portraying as fabric for the guest room. The color is perfect, and believe it or not, it's not all that hard to rip the seams of a fitted sheet until you have a nice looking piece of fabric from which to make curtains. I'm like a Tommy Hilfiger version of Scarlet O'Hara in reverse.
I thought I was done with my retail ridiculousness, but after dinner, Andrew and I realized that we were out of the amazing chemical stuff and we needed to make a trip to Lowes. While we were there, our "buddy" Dan spotted us and waved us down. He asked how we were doing, and we said we were doing much better with the chemical stuff and that we plan to sand this weekend (actually, the latest is that I think we're going to start Friday afternoon). He responded that we looked "a lot less stressed." I replied that no, we were plenty of stressed, but we'd just been to dinner and had a pitcher of beer with the pizza which put us in a more zen-state (Dad: Andrew was driving, and no, he did not have more than one glass per hour). Dan went on to tell us that he was very sorry for our troubles, and next time we paint (keep in mind, we just put fresh paint on both bedrooms), come to him and he'll get us a good deal. It would have been fine if he would have ended there, but Dan kept on talking.
Apparently, the day after we rented the sander (the one without the attached pads), a guy came in to rent it. The friendly folks at Lowes let him leave the store, and he too returned it. Dan told us that the guy was very angry.
That's when we too made a hasty exit, feeling that poor guy's pain.
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