There was an old woman who swallowed a mattress

A few months ago, my PT (yupp, I was back in Physical Therapy since August for my back pain) said that if I really wanted to sleep better, I needed to get a Sleep Number bed. So, Andrew and I tested out a Sleep Number bed, liked it, and got one. With a little bit of grunt work, we put together the new bed and managed to squish our old (super comfy and huge) pillow top mattress down to the basement. A local charity came about a week later to pick up our old box spring (downstairs has a split box spring, since it's a narrow passage down the stairs). The story really should have been done from this point.

All was good, except one little issue - the new mattress is a lot thinner than my old pillow top bed, and whenever Andrew and I would look at the bed in our bedroom, it just looked a little sad.

Andrew and I had been looking at headboards for awhile, so I started shopping for a bed frame instead. We found the Marquette Bed on Amazon for an amazing $180 with free shipping - only $40 than the cheapie headboard I'd been eyeing. All reviews mentioned that the mattress + boxspring sit very high in the frame, and the style was a sleigh bed (love) meets traditional metal slat, and we figured it was worth a try. While the shipping seemed like it was going to be tortoise slow on its way from Mexico, MO, the frame arrived slightly early and was a breeze to assemble. We ended up with a gorgeous, sturdy bed that we both love - as do Morty and Elmo.

But there was a slight problem. The bed frame is actually 66 inches wide, which is a bit bigger than the standard queen- and this meant that there wasn't a lot of wiggle room between the edge of the bed and Andrew's dresser. Within hours of putting the bed together, my left hip was a tapestry of dark bruises, and the room felt really crowded.

Yes, if you're following so far, because of my back, we bought a bed. Because of the bed, we bought a frame. And oh yes, because of the frame, we were now in the market for a new dresser.

Andrew and I love old things, and Andrew has never been totally in love with his dresser - it was something we nabbed when his grandparents moved out of their house shortly before we got married, since it would "go"with my antique, family hand-me-down dresser that I've had ever since I was a little girl:

Isn't it cute how you can see Andrew reading in bed in the mirror?

So here was our assignment: find a thinner (roughly 30 inches) but taller (Andrew still needed dresser space) chest of drawers to match a 1920s - 1930's lady's dresser. I thought this would be a piece of cake, since our corner of Iowa seems to have a million antique stores. We decided to spend last Saturday going "antiquing."

Unfortunately, our dishwasher needed repairs, so we had to wait until the repairman showed up in his 8am-noon window. Zeke showed up at 11:54, so it was nearly 1pm by the time we hit the first store. Nada there. Planning ahead, I'd taken a little 3x5 card and wrote down the dimensions of my dresser, Andrew's current dresser, and the ideal measurements that we were looking for, so it was easy to leave our name in case the antique dealers we met might find the right thing later on. We grabbed lunch, and then walked over to the wonderful little store where I'd bought our dining room chairs...only to find out that it's now a jewelry store. Ugh. That's when I started to get a not-so-good feeling about how "easy" this task was going to be. And did I mention that we had set a strict budget for this project?

At our second stop, we found something that we were willing to consider. We were up for doing sanding and refinishing, as long as it didn't involve paint stripping (we've been there before). We found this beauty, for $112, well within our budget.

But Andrew wasn't really sold on the curves, and I wasn't sold with the quality of the top surface. I called my dad on our way to the next stop, and he told me that what I'd described was "delamination" and it was good that we walked away. Speaking of my dad, he'd recommended an antique mall about 45 minutes away, where my grandparents had taken him some 15 years ago. The place had a website and some beautiful furniture, but the prices...well, they matched the quality. Sure enough, we fell in love with the first thing we saw - calling it the "Cadillac," knowing immediately that we'd be comparing everything against this one - it would be gorgeous with my dresser.

However, the price was twice our budget, even after a markdown. We were about to leave, when I decided to go up to the cash register and ask about something that my dad had mentioned on the way.

"So, my dad was here about 15 years ago and said that there was a barn out in the country where there's things that need a little bit of work?"

"Well, there's not really a barn," said the cashier.
 "It's more like a really big shed. And it's at their family house."

She motioned toward a chatty older man. "He's the owner, he'll help you." We met Veryl and described what we were looking for. He took us right over to the Cadillac, but it was clear that even when he came down another $20, it wasn't going to work for our budget.

"I don't know if there's anything out at the house that would work, but let's go see." Within a few minutes, we had jumped into my little hatchback and we were chasing Veryl in his big van down through the country. Veryl got out and unlocked about six locks and let us in to the most amazing warehouse of antiques I have ever seen.

It was seriously like a movie. One of the items in the shed was a stained glass dome from a Masonic hall depicting all of the zodiac symbols. It was stunning. And from floor to ceiling, there were items in organized array. Sadly, I only have one photo from this amazing place - yet another dresser that was too expensive (and a little to light/bright for our taste).

So we left Veryl, the Cadillac, and the barn of wonder, and kept on trucking to a few more country stores with no success as everything was closing up. On the drive home, I insisted we continue the search on Sunday after church. Sunday was the first day of the cold snap, so the longer we shopped, the more it rained and got wind-swept. In another small Iowa city, we found something "close" - the taller, thinner version of Andrew's current dresser, but we wanted something older.

On Sunday night, Andrew talked to his dad, who happened to be refinishing a dresser for Andrew's stepsister and thought that Andrew's stepsister might be passing on the dresser due to limited space in her Chicago home. Andrew's dad sent us photos on Tuesday of a gorgeous dresser, and we said we'd take it if it wasn't already claimed.

On Wednesday, I was driving back from one of the college's more remote campuses, and gave Andrew a call. Andrew said within the last ten minutes, his dad had e-mailed to say that his stepsister still had the claim on the dresser, and Veryl had called to say he'd found something for us.

In a strange coincidence, I'd just left the town where Veryl's amazing store was located. Normally, I'd have to be rushing back to meet another student, but he'd just called me to reschedule. "Should I turn around?" I asked Andrew.

"Well, yeah!" Within another 10 minutes, I was being led by Veryl to the back of the showroom. When I saw the dresser, I gasped. It was gorgeous - a mix of the Cadillac and the one my father-in-law had sent us photos depicting. It had character but wasn't feminine. The size was perfect.

But the price - when I saw what Veryl had marked it at, my heart sunk. I'm not a good poker player, so I'm sure that showed on my face. But quickly, Veryl offered me a better price. It was still too high. "But did you want the mirror? I'll knock off $50 if you don't want the mirror." That extra $50 put us right at the top of the budget that Andrew and I had set.

"I'll take it!"

So Veryl and a younger guy slid the dresser into the back of my little hatchback, and I whizzed back home to show Andrew. Because I can't wait for anything, I already had Andrew's dresser emptied and half the drawers downstairs (we put the old dresser by our guest bed to hold extra linens) by the time he came home. We were both pretty giddy and we moved drawers throughout our house and effortlessly carried the new, very old, dresser inside.

Before I left, I asked Veryl where he found our dresser. "Oh, I went to this big place down in Mexico, Missourah." Good 'ol Mexico, MO.

But in case you're curious, the piece seems to originate from Illinois, just like us. Here's the cool stamp on the back, from Summerfield (wherever that is).

After all of these unexpected purchases and searches, there is a really wonderful result - I can't believe how much I love my bedroom - it actually looks like a pair of grown-ups sleep there.

Tha Patio Project - Stage 2

The Patio Project - Stage 2 (in photos)

Disclaimer: I did help! It just looks like Andrew did all the work since I was manning the camera.

 Step 1: Mark area with available items in yard, namely flower pots where herbs refused to grow.

 Also use dirty shoes.

 Step 4: Use crazy sod cutter to make a big hole in yard. (Step 2 was calling the Iowa version of JULIE, who ended up moving our marked patio space back a bit)

 Step 3: Yes, out of order, but renting a truck was necessary, according to the sod cutter rental place.

 Here's a picture of step 2.

 This is the in-between of all steps - very sweaty, pretending to be happy, people. Sometimes we didn't pretend to be happy. Sometimes, we weren't happy.

 Check out our nice work!

 Step 4.75: Find patio furniture on clearance. Leave wife at Target with purchases after said purchases do not fit in car. Drive home quickly (getting a speeding ticket from a traffic cam, thus making the major savings on patio furniture not so major), swap cars, and free wife from Target purgatory. Next day, find chairs on better sale at Menard's, and return chairs to Target. Le sigh.

 Step 5: Keep digging. Make border with stakes.

 Step 6: Make a new and pretty garden!

 Step 7: More digging, and some string.

 Step 8: Leveling. I'll admit to this - I didn't help with this step one bit.

 Step 8: Tamper! That's the tamper in the background - the pole that is sitting upright.

 Step 9: Lay pavers and tamp some more.

 Step 10-36: Sweep sand, and more sand, and more sand, into the cracks.

 Step 37: Figure out something cool to do with pallets.

 Step 38: All done! Voila!

Time for wine...

Patio Project: Stage 1

This has been a crazy busy weekend - in some ways, it doesn't feel like Sunday.

On Friday, Andrew and I started work on the patio. I took a vacation day and Andrew works 1/2 days on Fridays, so around noon, we sped off to rent a U-Haul truck, then to the rental equipment store, and then back to the house to start tearing into sod.

I thought I'd be spending most of my time watching, but I forgot that when you cut sod, you also roll sod. So I followed Andrew, rolling up some pretty dry sod and getting covered from head to toe in dirt. And because it was ungodly hot, the dirt stuck. It was a pretty gross job. It also wasn't as easy as we'd thought. The machine would run away with Andrew a little bit, and then it would cut power at random. We have the worst luck with large machinery.

But by the end of the day, we'd cut the sod away for our (slightly larger than) 9x9 patio.

Earlier in the week, we had the Iowa version of JULIE come out and spray paint our yard. Unfortunately, there were gas lines right where we'd wanted the perimeter of the patio to start. We backed up the patio by about 2 feet, so I got the brilliant idea to extend the foundation garden by about another 2 feet, so there is still the same width of lawn between the edge of the garden and the start of the patio.

So in addition to the oversize 9x9 patio, we cut the sod out to extend the foundation garden under our bedroom window and also cut out a new spot for the fire pit that is a little closer to the patio.

Before Andrew put the sod cutter away, I talked him into attacking this crazy overgrown spot in our yard that was at one point a garden but is not overgrown with vinca, wild mulberry, and other assorted weeds. We've been working at killing the stuff for the last couple of years (I've transplanted all the actual flowers - the day lilies and Easter lilies and taken mounds of the ground cover to the other side of the house), but crap still keeps growing. We tried to get some of the roots out by sod cutting, but the vine was pretty pervasive. Still, cutting that deep was a good start. We uncovered a small beehive, which was not fun, but at that point, it was time to get the sod cutter cleaned up and back on the truck. We ran back into the house for quick showers, and then we arrived back at the rental place a few minutes before closing time. Perfect.

Our plan after dropping off the truck was to do some very light shopping and then go get dinner. I was looking for some things to go with a dress for an upcoming wedding, so we made a couple stops and then decided to run over to Target to price out some patio furniture. When we got there, we found a solidly constructed coated metal table priced 1/2 off at $62 and sling-back chairs for $25 a piece. We decided to run over to Lowe's to do some price comparison, and then realizing how good the deal at Target was, ran back. Unfortunately, we were driving Andrew's car, and after purchasing the table and chairs, nothing would fit inside. As Andrew raced back to our house to get my car, I waited in Target detention - seriously, we learned that Target makes you stay with your purchases if they won't fit in your car. They had a bench for me and everything.

Luckily, after the car swap, we got everything in the car and resumed our errands as a small storm brewed up outside, getting all of that fresh rolled sod back in our yard nice and watered.

The next morning, my mother-in-law (and probably my biggest blog fan - hi!) was due to visit, so we scrambled to get outdoor work done and clean up our house enough for it to be presentable. We had just enough sod to cover naked patches in the front, the empty space left from the old fire pit location, and areas that we had yet to fill in around the egress window when it was put in last summer.

We had a great visit with Andrew's mom - hit the farmer's market before lunch, and she helped me pick out some cone flowers to help fill out my newly expanded flower garden. It was a nice break - we had a leisurely lunch, a tour of Andrew's new workplace, and then went to our local dinner theater later that evening. But after brunch (and a nap) this morning, it was back to yard work for us.

Andrew and I headed to Menard's to complete our order for the patio materials and schedule delivery. But while there, I walked past the exact same chairs that we bought at Target on Friday night. Instead of $25, they were marked $20 with a $10 rebate. Uh, hello! We loaded up a new set of chairs with the intent to return the Target ones (which we did later this evening). The rebate is all filled out and ready to go, and I am stoked that we bought a nice quality table and chairs for $100. Now to find an umbrella and stand on the cheap...

And in addition to ordering the rest of the pavers at Menard's, we picked up 29 feet of crescent-shaped edgers (83 bricks) so I could make an outline on the new expanded garden and match it with my potted herb garden on the other side of the house. Andrew purchased some extra bricks and tarps, and I grabbed the Twizzlers (an important material, obviously).

Before heading over to pick up the bricks, I scooted over to the garden center and filled up a cart with some perennials. I bought a hydrangea plant, hollyhock, some red stuff and some purple stuff (uhhh....). When we got home, Andrew and I unloaded the car and set up the edge of the garden, and then I placed all the plants still in their pots (will plant later this week). It's surprisingly filled in, which made me happy. I've never had an actual flower bed, and everything looked tall and a little wild together - the kind of garden I like.

At some point this week, I'll take some of the extra dirt that is still on the perimeter of the patio (well, the hole that will be the patio) and fill in the garden a bit. I still have a ton of soil from my herb garden, so it should be pretty quick work to get everything planted.

The big next step will be this Wednesday - Andrew scheduled delivery for patio pavers (each one is a little over 40 lbs, and there are 49 of them...think my trainer will take it easy on me when I go work out on Thursday?), sand, and rock. We will be celebrating the independence of our country by waking up insanely early and laying a patio - and hopefully enjoying sparklers and a grilling out in our fancy new backyard by the evening of the 4th!

Summer in full swing

We're almost to the end of June, which is what I consider the half-way mark of summer (I think that when you work in academics, most, if not all, of August is a terror of planning, organization, and looming pace-changes, so it doesn't really count as summer in my book).

Here's what we've accomplished so far:

-I painted our back door red when Andrew was gone over Memorial Day. It needs another coat, because it's a little pink, but I keep telling myself that's something that can happen on any old weeknight.

-We had a mid-week dinner date with dear friends who moved to Norway last winter and who were back in town. Too short of a visit, but definitely a summer highlight.

-We have (mostly) settled into our new schedules - Andrew changed jobs/careers in May, which is fantastic for him and for us, but it also meant getting used to a different kind of busy, since Andrew is no longer home during the day sometimes and working at night. I love the luxury of weekend date nights and not having to worry about what sports team might make it to the play-offs thus ruining plans that we might have made, and Andrew loves his new job, employer, and co-workers. Life is definitely, definitely good. At the same time, we're still ironing out new ways to divide household labor, getting used to sharing google calendars, and over the weekend, with some Kohl's cash earned from Andrew's new work wardrobe, I purchased a Keurig coffee maker - so my morning routine is getting easier, too with some added caffeine.

-I started teaching my summer class, which meets two nights a week. Compounded with my personal training sessions at the YMCA (which I moved from twice a week to once), week nights have become really busy. This lazy summer that I'd dreamed of just isn't going to happen - I'll be lucky if we make it to the night swim at the pool two or three times before Labor Day.

-We did cut down some of that knotweed, and by we, I mean Andrew. I also bought flowers and herbs from the farmer's market, so my herb garden is plentiful and our hanging baskets add some color to all of the green growing things. Our yard is still a contant battle with the weeds, and the veggie garden that I decided not to replant looks like a prairie restoration experiment, but I'm trying to pick my battles and relish going to the farmer's market.

-We celebrated "April Birthdays" with several of our friends in Andrew's hometown, complete with a cake from the (a.m.a.z.i.n.g) bakery that made our wedding cake.

-I also started painting the cinder block foundation of our house. I learned quickly that painting a foundation is a lousy job, so only about 1/8 of the foundation is currently painted. It looks pretty goofy, but it's in the back, so I've been ignorning it. We do have plans to finish this, and again, by we, I mean Andrew.

-For our 5th wedding anniversary, instead of taking our yearly road trip somewhere fun in the Midwest, we hopped on a plane (actually, due to a flight delay, it was a few more planes than we were planning on) and flew to sunny, beautiful, laid-back Jamaica. Once we got to the resort, the vacation was amazing - I haven't felt so relaxed in years. We didn't check e-mail, didn't leave the resort, and simply spent time together in the sunshine by the ocean or in the pool. They say that vacations increase your level of happiness most before your trip (planning) and after (memories), and I believe it. Any time I think of our no-cares vacation, I just grin.

-Back at home this past weekend, we did a little shopping. In addition to purchasing my new best friend, the Keurig, we bought a couple of rugs. I'm not sure why, but I get a serious kick out of textiles of pretty much any kind (oooh, I also got a new table cloth. Love table cloths). We removed two cheap rugs from our bedroom and put down a pretty jute-like rug, which covers a lot less of the room, showing off the hardwood floors and (we think) making the room look a smidgen bigger. We also bought a mission-style mat for the front entry way, which is a test-run for replacing the big rug in the living room in the same style. The colors look beautiful with our living room (will need new covers for the throw pillows on the couch...oh, darn...), so we're going to give the entry rug a few months of wear to see how it holds up, and then plan to purchase a new rug after our big annual cook-out/open house in August.

As much as I'm excited about the new stuff, I wish we hadn't been at home getting shopping done this weekend, because we were supposed to visit my grandma. After our traveling, we ended up getting over a cold/virus and didn't want to run the risk of getting my grandma sick with us. We were able to re-arrange our plans (but now we have a whopping 0 weekends free until September). It will be a whirwind of visits, but we're very excited to show off our home and get to spend time with friends and family over the rest of the summer.

Anyway, so, during some our our errands this weekend, and knowing that we don't excactly have the free time for a big project, we spent this past weekend planning - wait for it - the patio!

It looks like we will not get the fence this year (I am still pouting), but I talked Andrew into doing half the plan - just the patio. This is going to be a pretty easy project for me, because Andrew knows how to use most of the equipment already from his high school job in golf course maintenance, so I think my role in quite a few of the steps will be to observe and make sure nothing goes wrong - though I have a feeling that when it comes to laying each paver (we chose the big 16 inch ones, and they're heavy as sin), I might get roped in.

We set a budget of $500, and I am hoping that we'll not only be able to do the patio (all materials and rental equipment) but also purchase some furniture within those limits. We purchased half of our materials at Menard's yesterday, since they were on sale and it would save us a ton of cash that way - our materials cost will be about $250, and without sales, it would have run about $400. The pavers themselves are the biggest expense left, and they are on sale through July - so we have a little bit of time to take advantage of sale prices. Andrew has reserved the rental sod cutter for a 1/2 day on Friday ($35) and since we don't know anyone with a pickup truck, we're also renting a U-Haul truck for $20 plus mileage.

The patio design is crazy simple - it's just 9 feet by 9 feet - just a little room for us to put a table and chairs for some outdoor dining. We'll also move our fire pit up closer to the patio (last summer, we put 4 of the 16x16 pavers down as a base under our iron fire pit as to avoid the multiple circles of burned grass), and keep pavers in place next to the back door for the spot where we store the grill. Pavers are crazy versatile - in addition to being a base/foundation for our fire pit and our grill, I moved 4 of them over by the back door to make a little step. Andrew and I haven't quite gotten used to the step yet (there have been some misses as we dash out the door), but I think it will be a nice addition in the long run.

Meanwhile, I'm toying around with ideas for stepping stones or what to plant in the empty area between the patio and the house - I'm thinking just some perrenials will be nice. Right now, there is a mess of non-blooming day lilies that take up some of the area, so there is room for improvement.

Also...I'd still like a fence. While at Menard's, Andrew and I took down numbers for fence contractors, and I'm not holding my breath after doing some google research for expected quotes, but it really would be icing on the cake.

How did all this happen?

Looking back at my last winter post, I realize that back then, I had no idea yet of what kind of mind-trip this weather would really turn out to be. With the warm weather coming early, our yard is an overgrown mess, and every cell in my body is screaming "SUMMER! Oh my gosh it's SUMMER!" even though we're not quite there yet. I mean, it's still April, for pete's sake.

I like spring, but I love summer. I love the long days, lazy evenings, and though I'm not an outdoors person (the outdoors makes me itch, I hate bugs, and I don't like being hot), I do enjoy porch and fire pit time. I like evening swim at the pool, and I love vacations. But I've found that the older I get, the endless summers that I remember as a kid are not at all endless. Summer is stupidly short (yet this does NOT mean I agree with my state's governor about kids not going to school until after the state fair..seriously? No, seriously?). Compouding that with the fact that I accidentally chose a career that requires me to work over the summer means that as lazy and wonderful as summer is, all that enjoyment and laziness requires some planning or it just turns into frustration and chaos.

So the other night, Andrew and I sat down with a calendar and a list. On the list, we added things to three columns: What we want to accomplish (mostly house projects), Where we want to go, and Who we want to see.

I'm not going to get too deep into the What we want to accomplish list. It was way, way, too long and full of boring, necessary things and some fairy tales. But I will mention some of the priorities - first, we need to fix the upstairs tub (I am SO sick of shaving my legs in the teensy downstairs shower). And we need to kill some knotweed. But what I'm super stoked about is that Andrew may have come over to my side, and is willing to get some estimates on my bright idea for 2012 - A FENCE! I am very excited about the fence, though we probably should be looking at spending that money on a new roof instead. I'm convinced that a fence is necessary and that outdoor living is a priority. And it will make me want to work in the yard (ha..haha). We will sit outside and drink sangria and stare at our lovely fence and all the flowers that I will have inevitably planted along this fence, and we can enjoy the lovely grass that will have grown in all the icky bald spots in our yard. I'm also convinced that once we have a fence, we will be inspired to build a DIY paver patio on the cheap in only 1 weekend. Andrew says that I have a very active imagination, but I also seem to posess great powers of persuasion.

Or, maybe I'm just a glutton for punishment, and in my memories of last summer, all I can think of is how lovely it was to have constant work being done at our house, dust everywhere, and strange (as in stranger, though some were a little strange) men barging inside when I'm trying to get ready for work. I'm not sure. But I think I'd like a fence. And a patio. I'm already scoping out outdoor dining sets (who knew that IKEA has cheap outdoor dining sets? Ohhh, they think of everything, complete with an umlaut).

After we compiled our 75-item list of what needs to happen with the house, we had considerably shorter lists for trips we wanted to take (because we'd clearly be broke) and people we'd planned to see (because our friends seem to have scattered to the far corners of the planet). Then we plugged dates into the calendar to see what's left.

After all was said and done, we had 6 weekends open, which was awesome...and 4 people with whom we had yet to coordinate visits with. Andrew wants to visit his brother, we promised my Grandma we'd go out to Ohio for a visit, our friends from Chicago are (finally!) planning to visit, and Andrew's mom is totally due for a trip to see us. So, that's down to 2 weekends for all of these incredible DIY projects we'd planned. Whoops.

I'm not complaining, at least not truly. I love - no, LOVE! - being able to see our friends and family all summer. I love having guests. I love grilling out and entertaining, and our house being full of light and people, and I love watching our friends from home or cities see what we love about being in Iowa, where everything is calm, homey, tranquil and yet abundant and brimming with gorgeous weather, things to do, things to eat, and music to hear. And as much as part of me hates being away from home, I love to visit and see places that are familiar and foreign. So I really honestly can't wait for the "Where we want to go/who we want to see" part of summer.

But that to-do list...that crazy list. I have no idea when any of it is supposed to happen.

Pinterest Addicted

You may remember last fall that we had a bunch of collegiate women stay at our house while their choir was on tour. While we were chatting around my kitchen table, one of the girls started talking about pinterest. I asked what it was, and all of a sudden laptops were being unpacked - all the girls had pinterest. And I knew at first look, I would become totally, completely obsessed with this site.

If you haven't been on pinterest.com, it's a by-invitation (hello, trendy factor) online "pin" board, where you organize photo-links on to your "boards" (think inspiration collages). And it's highly addictive, especially for a person like me who would probably list "home" as one of my hobbies. If I type in "craftsman," I'm instantly linked (without having to google search) to beautiful bungalow eye-candy, decorating tips, landscaping.... And the recipes! There is so much food p@rn that a person almost feels gluttonous by viewing.

Frankly, I cheat at pinterest. The point is to scour the internet for your own muses and lusts and post your own projects from your own blog (or post things from blogs and catalogs that inspire you), but I live vicariously through the pinterest community by "repinning" (borrowing someone else's pin and putting it on my page). I'm also so lazy that I barely ever change captions, even when the link's caption is something like "I took these to my son's school and all the 3rd graders love them!"

But I have tried some of the things that I see on pinterest - I made a Christmas tree display out of ornaments and a cupcake stand that I already owned. I've made zucchini boats, and one heck of a butternut squash pizza that a friend posted. And I've filled up a whole "Health and Wellness" board full of inspiring quotes because the actual workouts that people post look really, really tough.

In a way, my addiction to pinterest may be changing my life.

However, while I could sing the virtues of pinterest day and night, there are some not so positive things that I have noticed about pinterest trends. If you are a pinner, maybe you've noticed these too. If you are not a pinner, perhaps you will be scared off by my list and fear pinterest (that's probably for the better). If you're still unclear about what pinterest is, maybe just click back to Facebook now and wait for my next un-pin-related blog, since this will not adequately describe the wonder of pinterest.

Without further adieu --  Things I have noticed about pinterest:

1) People on pinterest love to read - or at least love the idea of reading. It seems like everyone wants a reading nook. Reading nooks are awesome. However, I'm not sure how everyone seems to be inspired by the reading nook made out of a closet. It begs one very central question: how, how on earth does anyone on this planet have an extra closet? And specifically, how is that closet big enough to fit furniture in if it is indeed your extra? My house has exactly 4 closets. None are large enough for an armchair, let alone a stinking couch. And even if they were big enough for a couch, I would a) not be interested in trying to lodge large furniture into a small place and b) I'd figure out things to store there. Reading can be done in the living room, folks.

Yeah, they put a couch in a closet:

2) There is an awesome website called polyvore.com where -- you remember the scene from Clueless when Cher chooses her clothes from her online database?? -- you can create and save outfits from a dream closet filled with Prada and Fendi and Chanel and Gucci. This is awesome. Unfortunately, all the creations you see on pinterest have jeans as the selected bottom half attire. I have nothing against jeans. I just want to know what portion of the population gets to wear designer clothes with jeans every day. I only wear jeans 3x a week (Friday, Saturday, Sunday afternoon) unless I'm on vacation (yikes! I don't have enough jeans!). So if I were going to build an outfit with a $1,200 purse and Louboutins, personally, I'd pair it with a skirt or black pants or something that I could wear to an occasion (because I'd be classy and have occasions to go to).

But instead, all I see is this:

Where do you go when you wear this outfit? Lunch at a hipster caj bistro on a Tuesday afternoon in the City? I want that life.

(And now I'm slowly understanding the jeans phenomenon...)

3) Which brings me to this oddity: jeans are either paired with crazy high heels, Toms, or Steve Madden tribal sandals. Toms are awesome, as are the sandals...but do they go with awesome clothes? Uh..no, not really. So who seriously can walk in all those heels? Is there something in the middle?

4) There is an obsession on pinterest with chalkboard paint. Clearly anyone who wants to paint a surface in their home with chalkboard paint has never been a teacher in a low-budget institution where some old fogey faculty member is convinced that the sky will fall if we have smart boards or gasp, wipe off boards (yes, I've clearly been such in a faculty meeting - not at the institution where I work, thankfully). Chalk boards are the devil, people. They smear, and chalk on your hands is the worst feeling ever. Worst. And while I previously mentioned that half my wardrobe includes black pants, I did not mention how there is nothing cooler than walking around half your day with chalk smudges on your @$$. No way am I painting my walls, my fridge, my cabinets, picture frames...and certainly not any plates (okay - that has GOT to be a health hazard to serve food off of something that was just painted like that!).

Yet I did pin this - at least it's outside:

5) There is a lot of cute stuff for kids on pinterest. That's because (as I've learned by a little clicking) 50% of the pinners on pinterest are mormon housewives whose husbands are young versions of republican presidential candidates. These beautiful, stay-at-home and wildly energetic 24 year olds have 4 beautiful, energetic blonde children that are wonderfully behaved, home schooled with exciting and creative projects, and wear the most darling clothes that are partially DIY but mostly haute couture (think you're jealous now? They also get their own planet). The other 50% of pinners are collegiate females who are now just realizing that with this economy, their careers, and trend of delaying marriage, freezing their eggs might just be the smartest thing a girl can do in her 20s.

Because of these two widely varied audiences, it seems that there is a lot of "future inspiration" aka "pretending" going on between the links on pinterest. Pretend weddings, pretend houses, pretend nurseries (I'm very guilty of the latter two...and have speculated about putting together a wedding board called "Vow Renewal" or something just so I can relive the fun of planning with no pressure).

In the interest of full disclosure, here's one of the pins I have from my "Someday" board. Doesn't it look like something from anthropologie? My imaginary child would play with that stuffed camel for hours:

6) Regarding children's nurseries - I've heard that you're not supposed to hang things above the crib. Nor are you supposed to have all sorts of crazy bedding in the crib. Wouldn't someone who is designing a nursery consider these things? Additionally, I dare you to try to find a pinterest photo of a nursery that doesn't have white trim on the walls (read earlier posts about the removal of white paint from the trim of the former nursery that is my master bedroom) and that lacks a chandelier. Why does an infant need a chandelier?

7) My last observation has to do with DIY projects. There are five items that are upcycled with reckless abandon on pinterest. These items are mason jars (since my grandma canned, I'm SO into this!), pennies, rubber mats, toilet paper rolls, and wood pallets. I will not discuss the painting and dissembling of antique furniture because that is so incredibly wrong that there are no words. I will also not discuss all the things you can do with a mason jar, because I support the resurgence of mason jars (including all brands, such as Ball). So I will turn my attention first to pennies.

Would you like a really disgusting and dirty floor? Look no further:

Has anyone who makes the wood pallet furniture ever seen a wood pallet before? They're made out of rough, crappy wood. Growing up, a friend of mine fell through the deck that her dad had made out of wood pallets. It's not great wood, people. Kudos for repurposing, but let the pallets do the work they were made to do - your kids will get enough splinters in their lifetime without your help. Plus, this stuff is just kinda ugly. Why not put your couch on cinder blocks? It's kindof the same effect.

Rubber mats are heavy. I just want to know how hanging this on your wall is accomplished (maybe I just don't understand because I have plaster walls):

And finally, yes - this is gorgeous -- but it's made of toilet paper rolls. Are we taking "green" just a little too far? Toilet paper rolls are cardboard. They can be recycled. We recycle ours...and they do not go on the walls.

This post has taken long enough, so I'm going to sign off. Enjoy pinning - I need to go look for a quinoa recipe for dinner tomorrow.

A New Year and No Snow

It has to be addressed: I have a blog about living in the Midwest, it's winter, and we're about to take our Christmas lights down - yet there are no snowy, glowing photos of my house this year. And it's not because I was lazy and somehow missed the moment. There has been no snow. And there's none forecasted. No big storms, no flurries, no nothing. I wore my fleece jacket to work today...shoot, we might be in shorts and tanks by February at this rate. Truth be told, I hate being cold. But I love being inside when it's snowing, and more than that, I love the unexpected joy of a snow day (since I work in education but do work summers, this is my one seasonal job perk, and I fully embrace it). I miss the snow.

Moving on.

Andrew and I celebrated the New Year this year with a fantastic party. Our house was the first stop of a Progressive Dinner with three other couples. Appetizers are my hands down favorite thing to make, so I made my three "signature" apps - bacon wrapped stuffed dates, brandy and macadamia nut brie with apples and pears, and bruschetta. I put the bruschetta on ciabatta rolls, which made them a ton more party friendly (note to myself in the future). About 20 minutes before our guests were to arrive, the pre-heating oven started smelling like lighter fluid. We searched the internet, and about 15 posts said that it was nothing, and another 15 screamed "CALL THE GAS COMPANY!" So, we called the gas company. The gas folks told us to evacuate our home, so we bundled up the kitties and stowed them in the car (remember my previous statement about the weather - there were no freezing kitties), and waited at our wonderfully understanding next door neighbor's house until we got the all clear. Turns out, the oven sucked up the fumes from the wood conditioner I'd been wiping the cabinets down with - it was nothing. But we also found out that our house has surprisingly low CO2 levels and that none of our gas lines are leaking, and received several compliments from the poor guy who was working New Year's about our basement rennovations. Bless him.

Luckily, all of our guests were running late (yes, I've managed to find friends who operate on my same time table - I love it!) and so the delay with the oven did not trivialize the outcome of the evening. It was a very impressive spread across the three houses, and the best New Year's I've celebrated in many years. Even though I tend to be an old lady when it comes to bedtime, we managed to keep the party going with booze and board games until about 3am. It was epic.

As the days of 2011 started dwindling, I realized that I was nervous about 2012. In many ways, 2011 was a comeback year for our household. I started a job that I love, we finished the biggest house-related project that we've wanted to do since moving in, and for the first time I can remember since somwhere during of college, I've felt a true sense of comfort that I'm right where I need to be in life. I don't have any plans that I'm rushing toward, and there aren't any signs flashing in the sky that say "LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE -- RIGHT NOW! SO HOLD ON!" I feel really rooted. My marriage is happy, my family is happy, the kitties are happy...we're doing good on all counts.

That should feel good, right? Right. But since I tend to be a little pessimistic in nature - and because I thrive on making plans - 2012 scared me a little. Will there be something that yanks at my roots? Oh, probably. What happens if I don't make a plan to work toward? Chaos, clearly.

So after confiding all of this in Andrew, I decided to make one hell of a New Year's resolution. I wrote it all out on my computer. Frankly, I'd have to look it up to remember everything. But I remember enough bits and pieces to have a pretty cohesive vision for 2012. It goes something like this:
1. Maximize my time by waking up earlier and better. Be more productive in the morning so I have more time to play in the afternoon/evening.
2. With my new-found free time, get moving. Do the things I enjoy, including: working out regularly, riding my bike, taking walks, and get back into horseback riding.
3. Eat better: make more time to make meals in, and continue making a commitment to local, fresh, real food.
4. Continue to grow relationships: enjoy my marriage, my family, and my friendships.
5. Quit procrastinating (ha!)
6. Complete the following: a quilt, a road race...and some other stuff that I currently can't remember.

There was actually a #7 but I can't remember it...because no one can ever remember groups of 7 (try naming the 7 dwarfs or 7 deadly sins...I dare ya)

Take that, 2012...I have plans for you.