I Believe

Summer is starting to wind down, and thankfully, that also means that Project Basement has come to an end as well. Everything is in its place, our first weekend guests have given the "downstairs suite" rave reviews, and finally, Andrew and I living in our home rather than avoiding the construction dust from a few drop-cloth enclosed rooms..

For me, the blinking sign in the sky that proclaims summer is ending turns on this evening. Every summer, I teach a section of college composition. For seven weeks, my students and I give up our Monday and Wednesday nights to write, write, and write some more. And then I grade some more - a task that I've never loved. I love reading what my students write, but assessing it is less fun.

Each summer, I ask my students to begin class with an essay topic borrowed from NPR's This I Believe project (found at www.thisIBelieve.org) . The students are challenged to write about a life lesson and a narrative that describes how they've come to hold a belief.

Every summer, I test out topics with them. I've written my share This I Believe essays since I started teaching. It's a topic that a writer can re-visit a thousand times and still never be satisfied with one solitary direction. My essays fall into a mashup of about 3 categories: home, family, and teaching. Typically home - but I think it's always a metaphor for all three.

I've written about taking leaps, facing challenges, accepting failure and moving to the next possible solution. I've talked memories, and preserving the "old" because it's part of my history. I've talked about family, and how it's intrinsically linked to my identity. I love writing about our house. In a lot of ways, it's a metaphor for life.

Writing about teaching, to me, is a tougher metaphor - politicians and angry people rarely have public forums (or fora, if you'd like to be grammatically correct!) about rennovating a home..though even that has occured in my community. But teaching seems to strike a cord in everyone. Writing about teaching is like writing about love. Everyone attempts it at some point. Most of these attempts are probably not worth reading.

This one may not be worth reading, either. But here it goes:

I believe in learning and teaching. And I believe that both of those things require challenges that are well worth the end result.

When I was in graduate school, my mentor constantly challenged her students to "model" what it is you value. Model your academic interests, model fairness, model kindess. That's a pretty good life lesson (shoot, she stole it from Jesus!). And in this class, I received the highest compliment when a student wrote "Don't mistake our instructor's kindness for weakness." Exactly. I know I do a lot of things imperfectly, but to convey that in academics, in writing, and in life, kindness and strength are both virtues - well, that seems to sum it all up right there. I know that I don't always model my values. None of us do. But in seven short weeks, I've learned a lot from them, and about the craft of writing and teaching. The paycheck is measly, but the rewards are fantastic.

Sometimes - okay, most of the time - a true investment doesn't give monetary rewards. When Andrew and I watched the foundation of our home get cut, drilled, re-poured - we were making an investment. A rather large monetary investment, especially in proportion to our earnings. It was scary. Even though we were technically paying for someone else to do the work, there is plenty of our sweat equity, time, thought, and planning involved as well. For several weeks, Andrew and I stayed up late painting, touching up paint, preparing. At one point, I felt like I was drowning in the "Crashing Waves" color paint that we'd so happily chosen when we found it Lowe's. It takes time to do something properly, and it takes cooperation, hard work, and a focus on the end result. And those things aren't easy. More than once, I went to bed with a frustrated, churning mind and paint in my hair.

Learning, even little lessons like those that I've encountered with my home, will always have obstacles. Teaching at a community college, I've heard about a lot of obstacles. Many are heartbreaking decisions that have no clear answer. But I keep going, and I challenge my students to keep writing and keep learning because I believe that education is an investment that's worth it, if the student (and teacher) are invested in the pursuit as much as the end result.